یه روزی میاد که نمیدونیم کی هستیم

یار کی بودیم و عشق کی بودیم و چی هستیم

She thinks that I am in love because I am not home often. She told me this is feeling of a mom!
I hope something change in my life though. I am not a person who live like this. I have enjoyed 27 years of my life and work for 1 year ! just last year. The year that I came to Canada for better life and opportunity. This is my goal. I am satisfied with my overall life. I did great in my carrier, but my life is silent.

Why I am changed? How I am changed? The problem is nothing can make me feel what I like. I loved talking about issues which I thought important. I loved flirting with girls, and ... .
Now, I just like to work. Hanging out with 2 or 3 (not very close) friends [exept Kouhyar who I really think he is great] does not satisfy me.

Last night, we went to a bar. Live music, dance, beer, girls, rain, and ciggar ! Last year being in this situation was my dream. I love to go to this place again, but I have to try to make myself happy. I just wanna know why! It bothers me a lot.

PS. I went to "Yas" yesterday for the first time! I lied to my friends as it was very weird that I never had gone to Yas before! I told them I was there once. Crap! I wasn't there.
I am in Vancouver for more than a year and I have never gone to a Symphony! It's just 10$ for students. I went to cinema once. I listned to live music yesterday for the first time! , I never watch a tennis match , and ...

I promissed myself to LIVE ! I have cheated.

I revealed these facts to punish myself not to lie anymore. I need to learn to accept the responsibility even if I cheat to somebody. In this case, to myself.
I promissed Behzad to LIVE when I leave that jail (ie. Iran's current society). Apparently, I didn't ...